I had been planning for a week to go over to your place and tell
you...but the roads and ice are far to dangerous, this was the day I
was going to do it, but I don't want to crack my head open on the way
over there...
I am so sorry for hurting you ...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
Date: Dec 21, 2008 4:11 PM
[omit]; I sort of knew.
I like you but you've lost respect from me in that you weren't honest right away. I'm not one for "fluffing" things until it's comfortable to let go, if things are let go. We could have done a lot of things under the guise of being in a relationship just over the holidays, and it still would have ended up the same: I'd be at my mom's house, and you'd still have to dump me online on fucking MySpace. Then I'd be dumped and at my mom's. And then possibly with a lot more regrets than I have now.
I have to think about what I want to be to you. I think I still want to be friends but I'm not sure yet. I hope that in the future you're more open. I recognize you were trying to consider my feelings but I'm still a bit upset.
I'm sorry that things went as far as they did. I was trying to get closer to you because I felt that somewhere you weren't all with me.
And I was hoping that our relationship would warrant more than a MySpace breakup. I was hoping HOPING that I had earned enough respect to have it told to me either in your own voice over the phone, or face to face. Holy shit.
Umm.. I really can't think of anything else to say. I'm glad I figured it out myself, I guess you can stop avoiding me now.
closing comment "Well, THAT didn't last very long."
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Stick Shift
Date: Dec 21, 2008 3:41 PM
This is why I've been so "busy" lately...
, I jumped into this relationship to quickly...Tia hadn't even been gone a month before I started to be with you, and even at the time, I wondered if it was the right thing to do, I really like you , and I don't want anything about us to change...but I came into to this far yo quickly and I regret not waiting...I should've waited and made a clear decision later, which is what I don't do, because I'm head-strong, and I don't think things through, I just go with the flow and push on forward knowing full well what might be at the end of the road for me.
I really hope we can be friends still , I wanted to wait 'til after Christmas to tell you...So it wouldn't ruin your holidays...I like you alot , but I should've waited longer to make such a rash decision, and I apologize for that.
See, me and Tia broke up, but I thought SHE was the one that didn't want to be with me, I was apparently wrong, I was very distraught because I still liked her...for some reason her constant bickering and telling me what to do is what keeps me with her, think of Scrubs, where Dr. Cox is married to that women, and yet they always fight and make fun of each other, but they both respect each other a great deal.
I guess what I'm saying is ...That I should've waited for Tia like I said I would, and I've always thought this would come back to bite me in the ass, I love your family, they make me so very happy...and so do you, I don't want to lose any respect from any of you...I just hope you can all realize that I didn't think this through before I started dating you, I'm going to miss coming over to your house at 12AM and just chilling, and I can only ask for your forgiveness...and that you don't resent me for my decision...
I'll miss you, I can only hope you still want to be friends with such a brash, hard-headed, dense person such as me...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
Date: Dec 21, 2008 3:25 PM
I went to look at your MySpace profile and I saw that Tia had commented that she loves you recently.
I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything dumb like that and I'm not the kind of person to prevent you from talking to anyone for any reason, but I think that if there are still feelings going on there, that I'd want to know..
I feel badly for intruding and asking questions like this, but I'd feel worse if I let something like that go ignored and and up suspecting or hurting later on.
I can respect that you're busy lately and that you can't talk to me. Take your time. I just wanted to let you know that I'm concerned.
Take care.
I am so sorry for hurting you ...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
Date: Dec 21, 2008 4:11 PM
[omit]; I sort of knew.
I like you but you've lost respect from me in that you weren't honest right away. I'm not one for "fluffing" things until it's comfortable to let go, if things are let go. We could have done a lot of things under the guise of being in a relationship just over the holidays, and it still would have ended up the same: I'd be at my mom's house, and you'd still have to dump me online on fucking MySpace. Then I'd be dumped and at my mom's. And then possibly with a lot more regrets than I have now.
I have to think about what I want to be to you. I think I still want to be friends but I'm not sure yet. I hope that in the future you're more open. I recognize you were trying to consider my feelings but I'm still a bit upset.
I'm sorry that things went as far as they did. I was trying to get closer to you because I felt that somewhere you weren't all with me.
And I was hoping that our relationship would warrant more than a MySpace breakup. I was hoping HOPING that I had earned enough respect to have it told to me either in your own voice over the phone, or face to face. Holy shit.
Umm.. I really can't think of anything else to say. I'm glad I figured it out myself, I guess you can stop avoiding me now.
closing comment "Well, THAT didn't last very long."
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Stick Shift
Date: Dec 21, 2008 3:41 PM
This is why I've been so "busy" lately...
, I jumped into this relationship to quickly...Tia hadn't even been gone a month before I started to be with you, and even at the time, I wondered if it was the right thing to do, I really like you , and I don't want anything about us to change...but I came into to this far yo quickly and I regret not waiting...I should've waited and made a clear decision later, which is what I don't do, because I'm head-strong, and I don't think things through, I just go with the flow and push on forward knowing full well what might be at the end of the road for me.
I really hope we can be friends still , I wanted to wait 'til after Christmas to tell you...So it wouldn't ruin your holidays...I like you alot , but I should've waited longer to make such a rash decision, and I apologize for that.
See, me and Tia broke up, but I thought SHE was the one that didn't want to be with me, I was apparently wrong, I was very distraught because I still liked her...for some reason her constant bickering and telling me what to do is what keeps me with her, think of Scrubs, where Dr. Cox is married to that women, and yet they always fight and make fun of each other, but they both respect each other a great deal.
I guess what I'm saying is ...That I should've waited for Tia like I said I would, and I've always thought this would come back to bite me in the ass, I love your family, they make me so very happy...and so do you, I don't want to lose any respect from any of you...I just hope you can all realize that I didn't think this through before I started dating you, I'm going to miss coming over to your house at 12AM and just chilling, and I can only ask for your forgiveness...and that you don't resent me for my decision...
I'll miss you, I can only hope you still want to be friends with such a brash, hard-headed, dense person such as me...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
Date: Dec 21, 2008 3:25 PM
I went to look at your MySpace profile and I saw that Tia had commented that she loves you recently.
I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything dumb like that and I'm not the kind of person to prevent you from talking to anyone for any reason, but I think that if there are still feelings going on there, that I'd want to know..
I feel badly for intruding and asking questions like this, but I'd feel worse if I let something like that go ignored and and up suspecting or hurting later on.
I can respect that you're busy lately and that you can't talk to me. Take your time. I just wanted to let you know that I'm concerned.
Take care.
Baby baby black & blue, time sure took a toll on you
What you what you gonna do tomorrow
Oh the world has got you down cry your heart out on the ground
Gimme strength to pick you up and keep you from dying
Give me strength and give me love
I can never have enough
All I want is someone who will never stop trying
Baby baby black & blue time sure took a toll on you
What you, what you gonna do tomorrow
I don't wanna see you cry got to make you realize
You got more to give me than your sorrow
Yes, yes, yes, yes you do now
Yes, yes, yes, baby, yes you do now
Yes, oh yes, yes you do
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes,
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes you do
Far away in my first dream visions that are lost to me
Touch me when I'm touching you ever so gently
Can you feel it yes you can
Just give me your little hand
I will show you someone that you never thought you'd be
Baby baby black & blue time sure took a toll on you
What you, what you gonna do tomorrow
I don't wanna see you cry got to make you realize
You got more to give me than your sorrow
Yes, yes, yes, yes you do now
Yes, yes, yes, baby, yes you do now
Yes, oh yes, yes you do
Oh yes, yes, yes you do
There's a big door with a little window
And the big world is peekin' through
Lay your head here on my pillow
I want to take care of you
There's a big door with a little window
And the big wide world is peekin' through
Lay your head on my pillow
I want to take care of you
Yes, yes, yes, yes I do now
Yes, yes, yes, baby, yes I do now
Yes, oh yes, yes I do
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes,
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes I do
Oh the world has got you down cry your heart out on the ground
Gimme strength to pick you up, pick you up, pick you up
Oh the world has got you down cry your heart out on the ground
Gimme strength to pick you up, pick you up, pick you up
Baby baby black & blue time sure took a toll on you
What you, what you gonna do tomorrow
I don't wanna see you cry got to make you realize
You got more to give me than your sorrow
What you what you gonna do tomorrow
Oh the world has got you down cry your heart out on the ground
Gimme strength to pick you up and keep you from dying
Give me strength and give me love
I can never have enough
All I want is someone who will never stop trying
Baby baby black & blue time sure took a toll on you
What you, what you gonna do tomorrow
I don't wanna see you cry got to make you realize
You got more to give me than your sorrow
Yes, yes, yes, yes you do now
Yes, yes, yes, baby, yes you do now
Yes, oh yes, yes you do
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes,
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes you do
Far away in my first dream visions that are lost to me
Touch me when I'm touching you ever so gently
Can you feel it yes you can
Just give me your little hand
I will show you someone that you never thought you'd be
Baby baby black & blue time sure took a toll on you
What you, what you gonna do tomorrow
I don't wanna see you cry got to make you realize
You got more to give me than your sorrow
Yes, yes, yes, yes you do now
Yes, yes, yes, baby, yes you do now
Yes, oh yes, yes you do
Oh yes, yes, yes you do
There's a big door with a little window
And the big world is peekin' through
Lay your head here on my pillow
I want to take care of you
There's a big door with a little window
And the big wide world is peekin' through
Lay your head on my pillow
I want to take care of you
Yes, yes, yes, yes I do now
Yes, yes, yes, baby, yes I do now
Yes, oh yes, yes I do
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes,
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes I do
Oh the world has got you down cry your heart out on the ground
Gimme strength to pick you up, pick you up, pick you up
Oh the world has got you down cry your heart out on the ground
Gimme strength to pick you up, pick you up, pick you up
Baby baby black & blue time sure took a toll on you
What you, what you gonna do tomorrow
I don't wanna see you cry got to make you realize
You got more to give me than your sorrow
I've been thinking about how confusing friends are. How do you classify friends? Is it right to classify friends into categories, although you know for a fact that you will confide in some and trust in some a lot more than you would trust in others? When you rank them, is it by importance and by how much you care about them? I never liked the idea... so I'm thinking about changing it for myself, into something more flowing and (I hate the word balanced) fair.... maybe just for me... but comparing them to the phases of the moon.
The importance level is never called into question, but it allows me to categorize into who I am comfortable sharing my more personal problems with compared to who I would just say hello to in the hallway.
Waxing - the moon is growing larger in the sky, moving from a narrow crescent just after the new moon towards the full moon.
The waxing moon grows from right to left and is called the 'right-hand moon' - the crescent is like the curve between the right-hand's index finger and thumb.
Waning - the moon is decreasing in size, moving from the full moon back towards a crescent as the new moon approaches.
The waning moon decreases from right to left and is called the 'left-hand moon' because of its similarity to the curve on the left hand.
Gibbous - during the phases between the First Quarter and the full moon, and between the full moon and the Last Quarter, when more than half of the disc is illuminated.
New Moon
The new moon occurs when the sun and moon are in conjunction, occupying the same part of the sky from the viewpoint of earth. During this time the moon doesn't reflect the light of the sun, and so cannot be seen (except during a solar eclipse). The moon's un-illuminated side is facing the earth.
1 New (also called the Dark Moon) - not visible
2 Waxing Crescent
3 First Quarter - commonly called a "half moon"
4 Waxing Gibbous
5 Full - we can see the entire illuminated portion of the moon
6 Waning Gibbous
7 Third Quarter - another "half moon", but the illuminated part is opposite of the First Quarter
8 Waning Crescent
9 New - back to the beg
Yes, I have too much time to think between terms........
Actually this was inspired by a dream I had.. I only remember that part of it, too... faces of friends shining with half-light, or little light, or their whole face illuminated, and my voice saying "she's a half-moon friend" ... or something to that effect.
This is only me, however.. I'm not saying everyone should think that way. I'm just trying my best to eliminate the annoyances of rank that have been lurking in the corner of my mind....
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night"
"I have two luxuries to brood over in my walks;
Your loveliness and the hour of my death.
O that I could have possession of them both in the same minute!"
Your loveliness and the hour of my death.
O that I could have possession of them both in the same minute!"
